Alright friends. I know. I know. I have been horrible at updating you all about Red Dots. My apologies. I have been swamped with work during the holidays, and our band is practicing almost three times a week.
Just to note: I write everything by hand, and then I have to type it all on to this site. Totally sucks for you, but it is the only way I can record the stories. This means that I have a number of stories to tell you, but they're not in the computer. I will do my best to type them up this week for your reading pleasure.
There is one story about what I did at Trannyshack Star Search that you don't want to miss. Sandra O Noshi-Di'nt was definitely not happy. Just stay tuned. I promise I will get to it. Really, I do.
November 27, 2009
So no more red dots yesterday. Actually, no more of anything yesterday. After putting you down, I fell into an uninterrupted pitch black sleep until this morning. Yes...that was almost twenty hours of sleep. But hey, I'm not complaining. I feel way better. Cold be gone!
I said I'd get to the Safeway woman story soon, so I best to to it.
It was a Wednesday. I remember it clearly because Stevie and I were picking up groceries for dinner before band practice, and we have band rehearsal every Wednesday night.
We were standing in the checkout line when I noticed a bright red dot next to the headline "Bat Boy Hoax Exposed!" on The Globe. It was the same red dot I found in my journal two days before.
"Hey Stevie," I said. "Check out The Globe."
"What about it?" He replied in his high pitch whine.
"Do you see a red dot?"
"All Globes have a red dot. It's their logo."
"No...not the logo. The one next to the Bat Boy story."
"There's no dot there. You must be seeing things dude," he said curtly.
I let it go, but picked up The Globe. Something wasn't completely right about it, but I couldn't place it. I got stuck in a loop of contemplation about the dot.
"Dude! Check out the woman staring at you." Stevie interrupted my concentration. I startled and knocked over the candy rack behind me. A loud metallic clank echoed between the cascading Orbit, Snickers, and M&Ms. "Fuck man! Don't do that!" I threw The Globe on top of my groceries. My face flushed, and I spun around to clean up my mess.
"Sorry," I said to the cashier without looking at her. "I'm picking it up."
Stevie leaned in close and said, "Dude, no really. Check out the chick staring at you. She's there at Customer Service."
I grabbed some peppermint Trident, a few Butterfingers, and two packages of Skittles and put them back on the rack. As I leaned down to grab more spilled candy, I glanced over at Customer Service. There she was: extraordinarily tall, slender not skinny, evenly cut black hair stretching to her waist, bright green wide eyes circled with black liquid eyeliner giving them a hard edge, wiry long fingers tapping the counter impatiently. Her back was to me; her head unnaturally angled was looking directly at me. She rarely blinked.
"Do you know her?" Stevie asked.
"Excuse me gentlemen," the cashier interjected, "but you're holding up the line."
"Sorry. Sorry. My apologies. Just trying to clean up the mess I made."
"I've already rung you up. Do you have a Club Card?"
"Oh...yes...where is it?" I reached for my wallet, opened the leather two-fold, and looked behind my driver's license. It wasn't there. "Where is it?" I muttered to myself.
"What's your number?"
"Number," I asked.
"Yes. Telephone number," the cashier pressed.
"Oh...THAT number."
I had to think really hard about what number I put on my application for the Club Card. I never gave a current one, fearing telemarketers, so that meant it could have been any of about 20 different ones. As I sat there thinking about it, my eyes turned towards the tall woman. She was still staring at me. Now, her body was turned fully in my direction, and I saw she was wearing a long-sleeved black t-shirt with a giant red dot on it.
"Hurry the hell up," someone screamed from the back of the line. "We're all trying to get out of here."
"Stevie?" I said.
"Yes."
"Can you please give her your card? I need to get out of here." I handed him $40. "I'll meet you outside."
"Uh...okay," Stevie said.
"Don't forget that Globe," I emphasized as I walked away from the checkout line.
"Whatever," he replied.
I had to pass Customer Service to leave the store. I could have sworn I heard her say, "Don't ignore the dots," as I walked past her. Her eyes, not her head, followed me as I exited the automatic doors. I was officially creeped out.
The cool crisp fog-laden air greeted me and snapped me back to some semblance of reality. I tried to forget about her, instead wanting to focus on band practice that night. But every time I tried to think about something else, I found a way of relating it to her.
Stevie joined me outside a few moments later. He was carrying our groceries. The Globe was missing.
"Damn it Stevie. I told you to get The Globe." I said brusquely.
I ran back into Safeway past Customer Service paying attention to nothing other than getting that Globe. The line was gone, the candy picked up, and The Globe was back on the rack.
"Forget something," the cashier said.
"Yup. Needed to get this Globe. I've been following the Bat Boy story for years." I grinned and handed her a $10 bill.
"Club Card?"
"Forget it," I retorted.
She gave me my change, and I headed out of Safeway. The woman wasn't standing at Customer Service any more. In fact, she wasn't anywhere in the store. It was almost like I imagined her, but I know I didn't because Stevie was the one that pointed her out to me.
I met Stevie outside. He was kind of annoyed with me, but didn't say anything. We headed to band rehearsal.
And that's the end of the story.
I know there isn't much to it. I am still trying to work out the pieces. Who knows when that will happen.
Well...I'm done for now. See you tomorrow or in a couple of days. Ciao.
November 26, 2009
Hey There. I'm back. I've been incredibly sick over the last few days, so much so I haven't even really thought about any of the red dots. I've been downing Nyquil and Emergen-C for the last 48 hours. (Note: Don't ever take one right after the other. You will end up in the bathroom, head over the toilet, worse than you were before.) I'm feeling slightly better now, except for the achy joints and occasional dizzy spells.
I had to pick you back up today not only to momentarily escape the crappiness I feel, but also because I had the most unsettling dream last night. I'll try and record some of the past instances of red dots, but it feels like my energy will fade at any moment, and I have to record this dream before it escapes my memory.
I sat on my comfy plaid couch most of yesterday wrapped in the pastel afghan my granny crocheted me. I flipped channels between the Food Network, Home and Garden, and the endless James Bond movies on SyFy. Once that got boring - I can only take so many flipping holiday cooking shows - I ordered Drag Me to Hell on OnDemand. Somehow, the old gypsy, Allison Lohman, and that button entered my subconscious. More on that soon.
After the movie, I made a can of Campbell's Chicken Soup, slurped it down, and passed out on the couch while watching The Spy Who Loved Me. It was unrestful sleep, the kind that makes you really tired. The movie mixed with dreams. Soon, I was swimming off the shores of Italy with Jaws, not the shark but the henchman with the silver grill after 007, walking along the ocean floor trying to bite off my toes. When he finally chomped off my pinky toe, I was at home with Paula Deen making pickled pig's feet, and the whole place stunk of boiled vinegar. The liquid was turning into a gelatinous mess -- one that Paula told me I would have to clean. The stench and the fat morphed into wallpaper paste, and son I was remodeling a kitchen with large red polka dots. Yes...red dots.
I recognized the dots instantaneously as the same red dots that have been teasing me for the last few weeks and startled awake. The first thing I saw when I woke up was the VCR, yes I still own one, blinking 11:42 in its dull green light. Except, the dots of the colon were red, and the time couldn't have been right. If it was, it meant I had slept on the couch for almost ten hours. I rubbed my eyes thinking I must be hallucinating from the fever and looked at the clock again. The red colon was gone, and the time read 1:43. I had only been asleep a couple of minutes. Oh...and it wasn't blinking either.
Unnerved at this point, I turned off the television leaving Jaws in hot pursuit of Bond, took two capfuls of Nyquil, and went to bed. It took me quite a while to fall asleep. I couldn't stop obsessing about the wallpaper. When I finally did, it was filled with tossing and turning until I entered dreamland. Then, everything changed. It's why I have to write this down even though all of my joints and muscles ache and it's uncomfortable to sit in this chair.
It started with sinking. The bed turned into water, and I was slowly drifting to the bottom of the ocean. Jaws was there. This time it was the shark. I wasn't afraid at all. Instead, I just watched him swim elegantly through the water. The gentle back and forth motion of his body lulled me into a trance, and I woke up on a beach somewhere in Southern California. It was bright and the sun was high in the sky. Next to me were about a dozen or so sunbathers all on beach towels with red dots. Some were like a giant Target logo. Some were like the wallpaper from the dream. On one of the towels laid Allison Lohman. On another laid the woman I saw in Safeway. The same on who can see the red dots. (I promise, really I do, I will tell the Safeway story soon.) The Safeway woman was fully clothed head to toe in back, the same outfit I first saw her in, and she was staring at me. She was the furthest person from me.
Allison Lohman was to my left and was also staring at me. When she saw me look at her, she smiled and said, "I have a gift for you."
I replied, "I don't want your gift. I don't accept it. I know what it will do."
"Then follow me," she said.
I stood ready to follow her. She stood too. So did the woman in black.
I looked around me, and we were no longer at the beach. Now we were at a fortune tellers with red circular candles on every surface. A circular table with a red table cloth sat in the middle of the room with Tarot cards fanned on one side.
"Please sit," Allison commanded, and so I did.
A red beaded curtain directly across from me rattled and out walked the Safeway woman. As she sat down at the table, she morphed in to the gypsy from Drag Me to Hell. Her dentures chomped, foam gathered at the corners of her mouth, and she leaned in close to me. Up until now, I was perfectly calm. Seeing the gypsy put me on edge, and I quickly stood up and looked for Allison to tell her I was leaving. She was no longer in the room. It was just me and the gypsy. Fear gripped me, and I ran for the curtain.
The gypsy screamed in a pitch that shattered all of the glass in the room including the candle holders and the three window and the little trinkets for sale. "Pay attention to the dots! They are the key!!"
Shards of glass flew in to my eyes and blood dripped in perfect circles down my cheeks forming a large pool beneath my feet. There was a sudden clap. The shards flew out of my eyes, and I was standing in a pitch black space with the pool of blood still underneath me. I tried moving, but was stuck in place by two hands firmly gripping my ankles. I screamed, terrified. The scream bounced and echoed all around me as it it were a round being sung. The hands pulled me through the blood beneath my feet.
I was back at the beach. This time the sun was setting and burned a bright red. The only other person on the beach was Allison. She approached me and said, "I have a gift for you. Don't be afraid of it."
"I still don't want your gift." I replied crying. "I just want to wake up."
It was then that I realized this was all just a dream. I turned to her and said, "I will take your gift as long as I can wake up."
Allison presented me with a white envelope. I tore it open, and it contained a single red button.
"Pay attention to the dots," she whispered in my ear.
Everything faded to black.
I woke up a little while later, and I was holding a button. I panicked. How on earth did this happen? Then, I looked at the pajamas I was wearing, and they were my black flannel one with the red buttons. One of the buttons was torn off and now in my hand. The funny thing is: I don't remember putting on those pajamas before hopping in to bed.
I looked around my bedroom and found a neat pile of clothes at the foot of my bed. My closet door was wide open. Inside, it was messy as if someone tore through it looking for something. I deduced that I must've been sleepwalking, something I haven't done since I was 11 years old.
A dizziness hit me, and, as I was about to lay back down on the bed, I glanced at the clock. It was blinking 11:42, and, you guessed it, the colon was red.
I couldn't go back to bed. I put the button with my red dot collection. Then, I had to open you up and start writing everything down no matter how I felt.
That's it.
I am still trying to figure this all out. I have no idea what any of it means. I just know I have to pay attention.
I'm feeling worse now than I did when I started writing this, so I'm going to take a few more capfuls of Nyquil and, hopefully, actually sleep. We'll see if that actually happens.
Be back soon.
I had to pick you back up today not only to momentarily escape the crappiness I feel, but also because I had the most unsettling dream last night. I'll try and record some of the past instances of red dots, but it feels like my energy will fade at any moment, and I have to record this dream before it escapes my memory.
I sat on my comfy plaid couch most of yesterday wrapped in the pastel afghan my granny crocheted me. I flipped channels between the Food Network, Home and Garden, and the endless James Bond movies on SyFy. Once that got boring - I can only take so many flipping holiday cooking shows - I ordered Drag Me to Hell on OnDemand. Somehow, the old gypsy, Allison Lohman, and that button entered my subconscious. More on that soon.
After the movie, I made a can of Campbell's Chicken Soup, slurped it down, and passed out on the couch while watching The Spy Who Loved Me. It was unrestful sleep, the kind that makes you really tired. The movie mixed with dreams. Soon, I was swimming off the shores of Italy with Jaws, not the shark but the henchman with the silver grill after 007, walking along the ocean floor trying to bite off my toes. When he finally chomped off my pinky toe, I was at home with Paula Deen making pickled pig's feet, and the whole place stunk of boiled vinegar. The liquid was turning into a gelatinous mess -- one that Paula told me I would have to clean. The stench and the fat morphed into wallpaper paste, and son I was remodeling a kitchen with large red polka dots. Yes...red dots.
I recognized the dots instantaneously as the same red dots that have been teasing me for the last few weeks and startled awake. The first thing I saw when I woke up was the VCR, yes I still own one, blinking 11:42 in its dull green light. Except, the dots of the colon were red, and the time couldn't have been right. If it was, it meant I had slept on the couch for almost ten hours. I rubbed my eyes thinking I must be hallucinating from the fever and looked at the clock again. The red colon was gone, and the time read 1:43. I had only been asleep a couple of minutes. Oh...and it wasn't blinking either.
Unnerved at this point, I turned off the television leaving Jaws in hot pursuit of Bond, took two capfuls of Nyquil, and went to bed. It took me quite a while to fall asleep. I couldn't stop obsessing about the wallpaper. When I finally did, it was filled with tossing and turning until I entered dreamland. Then, everything changed. It's why I have to write this down even though all of my joints and muscles ache and it's uncomfortable to sit in this chair.
It started with sinking. The bed turned into water, and I was slowly drifting to the bottom of the ocean. Jaws was there. This time it was the shark. I wasn't afraid at all. Instead, I just watched him swim elegantly through the water. The gentle back and forth motion of his body lulled me into a trance, and I woke up on a beach somewhere in Southern California. It was bright and the sun was high in the sky. Next to me were about a dozen or so sunbathers all on beach towels with red dots. Some were like a giant Target logo. Some were like the wallpaper from the dream. On one of the towels laid Allison Lohman. On another laid the woman I saw in Safeway. The same on who can see the red dots. (I promise, really I do, I will tell the Safeway story soon.) The Safeway woman was fully clothed head to toe in back, the same outfit I first saw her in, and she was staring at me. She was the furthest person from me.
Allison Lohman was to my left and was also staring at me. When she saw me look at her, she smiled and said, "I have a gift for you."
I replied, "I don't want your gift. I don't accept it. I know what it will do."
"Then follow me," she said.
I stood ready to follow her. She stood too. So did the woman in black.
I looked around me, and we were no longer at the beach. Now we were at a fortune tellers with red circular candles on every surface. A circular table with a red table cloth sat in the middle of the room with Tarot cards fanned on one side.
"Please sit," Allison commanded, and so I did.
A red beaded curtain directly across from me rattled and out walked the Safeway woman. As she sat down at the table, she morphed in to the gypsy from Drag Me to Hell. Her dentures chomped, foam gathered at the corners of her mouth, and she leaned in close to me. Up until now, I was perfectly calm. Seeing the gypsy put me on edge, and I quickly stood up and looked for Allison to tell her I was leaving. She was no longer in the room. It was just me and the gypsy. Fear gripped me, and I ran for the curtain.
The gypsy screamed in a pitch that shattered all of the glass in the room including the candle holders and the three window and the little trinkets for sale. "Pay attention to the dots! They are the key!!"
Shards of glass flew in to my eyes and blood dripped in perfect circles down my cheeks forming a large pool beneath my feet. There was a sudden clap. The shards flew out of my eyes, and I was standing in a pitch black space with the pool of blood still underneath me. I tried moving, but was stuck in place by two hands firmly gripping my ankles. I screamed, terrified. The scream bounced and echoed all around me as it it were a round being sung. The hands pulled me through the blood beneath my feet.
I was back at the beach. This time the sun was setting and burned a bright red. The only other person on the beach was Allison. She approached me and said, "I have a gift for you. Don't be afraid of it."
"I still don't want your gift." I replied crying. "I just want to wake up."
It was then that I realized this was all just a dream. I turned to her and said, "I will take your gift as long as I can wake up."
Allison presented me with a white envelope. I tore it open, and it contained a single red button.
"Pay attention to the dots," she whispered in my ear.
Everything faded to black.
I woke up a little while later, and I was holding a button. I panicked. How on earth did this happen? Then, I looked at the pajamas I was wearing, and they were my black flannel one with the red buttons. One of the buttons was torn off and now in my hand. The funny thing is: I don't remember putting on those pajamas before hopping in to bed.
I looked around my bedroom and found a neat pile of clothes at the foot of my bed. My closet door was wide open. Inside, it was messy as if someone tore through it looking for something. I deduced that I must've been sleepwalking, something I haven't done since I was 11 years old.
A dizziness hit me, and, as I was about to lay back down on the bed, I glanced at the clock. It was blinking 11:42, and, you guessed it, the colon was red.
I couldn't go back to bed. I put the button with my red dot collection. Then, I had to open you up and start writing everything down no matter how I felt.
That's it.
I am still trying to figure this all out. I have no idea what any of it means. I just know I have to pay attention.
I'm feeling worse now than I did when I started writing this, so I'm going to take a few more capfuls of Nyquil and, hopefully, actually sleep. We'll see if that actually happens.
Be back soon.
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